Tension

Drop your heavy load

Matt, Project Manager for a for a full-service mechanical and plumbing contractor in Wilsonville, OR, told Session 6B of Turbo Leadership Systems’ Leadership Development Lab (LDL):

“In April 2019, one of my lead plumbing foremen and I were at a job site in Albany, Oregon. The first project I’d worked on with him had been a difficult one. We had been struggling with submittal approvals and the overall project schedule. I started to feel some tension building between my foreman and me. Instead of addressing it, I let it fester. It got to the point that I dreaded going to the job site. This had been building up for a couple of months when we were asked to pick a pearl person we wanted to improve our relationship with. I made him my pearl.

“I decided to step outside my comfort zone and speak to him directly about my feelings of discomfort and tension. I said, ‘Darren, I feel like there is a lot of tension between us here on the job. We don’t seem to have engaging conversations. Most of our conversations seem to be pretty cryptic.’ When I told him how I was feeling, his response seemed to make it clear that most of the tension I was feeling was all in my head.

“The lesson I learned from this experience is the importance of taking action, taking the initiative when I feel tension in my relationships. I learned that I shouldn’t wait. If I had spoken up sooner, I could’ve prevented a lot of undue stress.

“The action I call you to take is to initiate the conversations needed to clear the air; don’t drag along the heavy weight of unnecessary tension and stress.

“The benefit you will gain less stress and more ease. You will enjoy the connected relationships that make work and life enjoyable and fulfilling.”

Matt is not the only one who has experienced the tension of unresolved communication issues. We have all been guilty of “hoping it will clear up,” even avoiding the other person, only to have the tension grow worse. In some cases, we have even talked behind their backs, carried out a sort of smear campaign against them. It takes more courage to confront, to talk to people instead of about people. Talking about people, condemning them, or hoping it will go away is never a winning strategy. The next time you feel the tension of unresolved communication issues, muster up the courage, take the first step; go direct. By talking to them, you will be relieved of a heavy load.